Linux and unix shell jokes

Unix c shell jokes for when you’re having a bad day and need a boost.  Some I have modded, some are lying round on post-it notes, some I have been sent by people who know me.

PCRMB Mantra: You don’t have to be a geek to work here but it helps…..

% rm google-ethics
rm: google-ethics nonexistent
% ar m God
ar: God does not exist
% “How would you rate your incompetence?
Unmatched “.
% ^How did the sex changeSHIFT6 operation go?
Modifier failed.

Note: replace the SHIFT6 above with ^

% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% If I had a ( for every $ my wife spends,what would I have?
Too many (‘s.

Here’s a few Bourne shell classics:

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink < bottle ; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found
$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

Any more to help while away the hours?